& my world will be coloured.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Estatic

hello. received a letter from the school today. they told me that there was a vacancy in 3A1 and i got accepted into my desired combination. actually i knew this already on monday as mrs chong called up my father and told him about it. however, mum said that nothing is confirmed unless there is black and white. but this time i wasn't that frantic about the results. like i didn't really get excited about going to the letterbox and going to open it several times a day. maybe it's because i knew the results beforehand and that my mum kinda scolded me for stressing the whole family the previous time for the result. haha.
anyway, many people are going overseas this time. i feel so lonely in singapore not going anywhere except to school for meetings and band practice. and my most frequent sms partners away in some foreign country and enjoying themselves. ahh. I WANNA GO!!!

(Ruby) ♥ 11/29/2008 11:19:00 PM

Friday, November 28, 2008

Outing With GB

hello. went out with my grandbuddy and sisters today. watched wildchild. which is really funny by the way. haha. good lol for all you stressed people out there.
went carrefour and marks and spencers before that to shop for stuff before the movie. had good time today. met iris and jas there too.(right, jas?) haha. anyway, pics to show our time. actually only one pic. haha.

after the movie
went walking aimlessly aropund orchard after that while waiting for mummy to finish work. and saw winnie the pooh meet and greet session at takashimaya. took pictures again.

and the xmas tree at orchard as well as the lightings were good. quite soothing to the soul. haha. saw a percussion band as well.

yup that's all for today. quite tired but i wanna watch the perfect cut last episode. real nice show. must watch. haha. gtg. byes.

(Ruby) ♥ 11/28/2008 10:33:00 PM

Monday, November 24, 2008

Results Unleashed

hello. the long awaited results are out. my sis went to open the letterbox today and got the letter. the reult of the appeal?---unsucessful. i cried real badly before my physiotherapy session at KKH today. i was thinking about what i had done wrong and whether or not i deserved this outcome. the letter just stated that there are no more vacancies. did that mean that if there were more vacancies i would have got in? was it because my resuls just wasn't good enough? i seem to have got over it on the outside but my heart is still tearing on the inside. being separated from jas chun hsin and iris. but still... it was because i had not met my own expectations of myself getting into the class. i thought i had stood a chance. but i just didn't. wth. why am i even pondering over such stuff for. my mum suggested a re-appeal after she'd seen me so sad but i was thinking about whether a re-appeal would even make a difference. since this was the road that was given to me, why not just walk down it with a smile on my face showing this world i was alright but not so on the inside. it's not like i'm alone there. i still have friends like gracious, vivian, meixi, priscilla, melodi, elvina and more. i just won't be in the same class as those whom i was closer to. no offecne to the rest. i'm still trying self-consolation. thoughts in my head that are superficial to what i really feel. thoughts like 'so what if i didn't get into 3A1? i'm still gonna do well.' but does self-consolation really work? i dunno. but i have to keep trying. i'm still pressing on for i have no idea what. can someone just gimme a sign or something. for me to wake up from this dream where wishes can come true cos i know that in reality, such things can never happen...

(Ruby) ♥ 11/24/2008 10:27:00 PM

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Up up and away

hello. it has been a week since the results were supposed to be out. kinda freaked myself out throughout the week. whenever i hear that the results are out, my hands just freeze up and turn cold. i can't take this. iris got her letter today.but she doesn't want to tell me what the result is. she wants to wait till i get my letter to tell me. aah. i can't take this lying down anymore. when will the letter ever come?!?!?!

(Ruby) ♥ 11/22/2008 10:35:00 PM

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Separation once again

hello. this post is dedicated to the one and only CA of ATP, WYE SYN!!!

sorry about your unglam but that's the only one i have that's you alone one(:
wye syn:
you are a wonderful CA to ATP and it has been a great, humongous(i forgot how to spell), extraordinary, bombastic time spent with you and the rest of ATP. i don't know how to thank you for all your support and everything else.
you have been a great friend, counsellor, joker, entertainer, harmonizer(with vivian-think of me), debater(with gtao) and many more that i can't really name now but still. i love you lots and i'm sure the whole of ATP does too. i'll miss you damn lots. and you must come for the ATP outing that i'm still in the midst of planning. all the best in xin min if you're going there. i know you wil find your friends.(:
and fyi, zhonghua is in hougang district. i went there before and their uniform is green btw. i really miss you. i haven't seen you since the last day of school. you have made your choice and i know you won't regret it. we will be behind you all the way. oh gosh. im gonna cry. you must work hard and never forget us, ok?
loves, HR<3
ps. HAPPY WORLD TOILET DAY!!! MUST RMB 19 NOVEMBER OF EVERY YEAR OK?

(Ruby) ♥ 11/19/2008 10:33:00 PM

Monday, November 17, 2008

Anxious

hello. it has been almost 3 days since the date when the results were supposed to be out. i getting really worried and the anxiety is building up in my heart. i can't help it. oh goodness.
anyways, i'm planning the upcoming and long awaited ATP outing!!! yay. haha. so dramatic.
this next part is especially for yingjia. haha. to set the record straight, gracious was the most efficient in replying the email, followed by wye syn, then you and jas. so technically you are not the fastest but i appreciate the promptness in replying the email. thanks. and yes all those who reply by today are like fedex ok? all efficient! haha. nice right yj? haha. jkjk.
btw, gracious, your name in green leh. if you don't like you must tell me then i change. haha.
ok. i'm going back to awaiting for the results that are making me break out in cold sweat.
nevertheless, i went to the market with my dad that day and i saw this piece of paper stuck on the wall next to the fishmonger's stall at the nearby 'purple market'(i didn't take a picture but it's like this).
说了又不听
听了又不懂
不懂又不问
问了又不做
做了又做错
错了又不认
认了又不服
不服又不说
i think this is quite meaningful. and it should be applied to everyone regarding our attitude towards life. haha.

(Ruby) ♥ 11/17/2008 10:29:00 PM

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Cheated once again

hello. the results didn't come out today in the end. i don't even know how is the school going to inform me of the results. i'm like terrified of the results but i have no choice. what am i to do? i feel like i'm drowning in this whirlpool of problems and anxiety. help me someone.

(Ruby) ♥ 11/15/2008 11:32:00 PM

Friday, November 14, 2008

Yummy

hello. today was mummy's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!!!!
went for dim sum buffet for lunch. it was all you can eat so my mum and my dad and my grandma started stuffing me with all sorts of dim sum. ha gao, siew mai, xiao long bao and many others that i lazy to name. haha. ok. pictures to show how nicethe food was. not to mention that it was cheap too. value for money. if i'm not wrong $12.95 for adults and $6.95 for children. jas called me during lunch and we talked about the AHEMS(inside joke). haha. apparently this joke is only known to me, jas and iris. haha. lol. pix time!!

at the restaurant eating with family

this time with daddy

me and sisters

the yummy dim sum!!!

more food. wahahahaha!

really nice century egg porridge.

about finished food.

DESSERT!!!yummy mango pudding!!!

finished pudding. yj, you jealous? haha.

nice flower thingys so we decided to take pictures after the food.

we started taking reflection pictures after that. haha. this turned out kinda blur though.

family photo!!!(:

cutting cake(: cake was named mango paradise. met ms seah at the place we bought the cake and she gave us the "why are you all here look". haha.
anyways. had steamboat for dinner. i didn't take a picture though. really nice soup and had chilli crab as well. yay. all home cooked food. i think i increased 10kg in weight. haha. must go exercise and jas promised to go with me. yay.
appeal results released tomorrow. hope i get in!!!

(Ruby) ♥ 11/14/2008 10:39:00 PM

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Melancholic

hello. i feel sad today. i didn't manage to get into the pre-select group for syf. band people will understand this. if i hadn't changed my section and instrument, i would most probably have got into the first group and not the last. blame it on my stupid back problem that made me unable to carry heavy things, which apparently my euphonium is.):
i hate this. i can't stand being inferior to others. i don't want to feel this way but i can't help it.i'm already trying my hardest to play as best as i can. i'm about to collapse. oh gosh. help me someone.

(Ruby) ♥ 11/13/2008 10:31:00 PM

Monday, November 10, 2008

Short

hello. went otu today to my mum's office to collect some stuff. went to ps after that and my sis surprisingly treated me stuff. yay. takoyaki!!!! the one yj recommended me to eat. it was deliciouso!!!anyway. here is a picure of it. that's all. i feel short today. haha. oh. before i forget.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIVIAN!!!

(Ruby) ♥ 11/10/2008 11:48:00 PM

Friday, November 7, 2008

Uncertainty

hello. i have this sudden uncertainty in my heart that i may not get into 3a1. after the appeal was submitted, i thought i may have a chance after all. butnow, thinking about it, the day of the results being only a mere 8 days away, i can't help but think about what if i don't get into my desired clss. what if i don't do well when i didn't get into the class i want. even if i did, would i do well?
such questions keep popping into my head. i can't help it. the uncertainty is building up. i feel so alone now that my close friends are all in different classes and me not knowing which class i may end up in. i thought about what bi hui said to me today. about me being the last few even if i get into 3a1. i'd have this massive bulk of stress on my shoulders and all. i don't think i'd be able to cope with syf coming up and me not knowing if i hold a place in the team who is going for the competition. with the prefectorial duties coming up as well as the project that i took part in. and most importantly my studies and my family. i don't even think i have time for them anymore. what should i do?
this is so confusing. i feel like i'm being rammed in the face by huge bolders of responsibilities and problems for me to solve. i'm really tired both physically and mentally.
miss those at people peer lite camp
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEIXI!!!

(Ruby) ♥ 11/07/2008 11:04:00 PM

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Band and all

hello. it felt like i hadn't posted in like a gazillion years so here is a new post. yay. i had band today. which i felt was totally horrible. cos i couldn't play the scale properly which was bad. i've already been learning the french horn for nearly 3 months and still haven't mastered it. i feel like a total failure. we're about to choose people for the SYF competition by having auditions which i have a feeling i won't be able to pass. aaah. i can't take this anymore. without my seniors around, my sections sounds like crap. not that my section people are bad at playing but it's just we're not very good at it and we sound bad which really gets on my nerves. maybe i'm just plain lazy that's why i haven't mastered my instrument. oh well, i don't wanna talk about it anymore.
went out with iris yesterday. we went to hougang mall in the library. i went to return my books which i borrowed previously. and i had a hard time turning the library upside down to look for some geronimo stilton book for my sis which in the end i still couldn't find. sorry zhen!
did chem homework there. to put it specifically, iris did chem homework there. i guided her with it. haha. i feel accomplished cos i managed to finish 4 homework so far when some people haven't even started. yay me.
ok that's about all. byes.
BY THE WAY-----
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRACIOUS!!!!

(Ruby) ♥ 11/06/2008 10:20:00 PM

Monday, November 3, 2008

Holidays? Really?

hello. i just realised the pathetic state of my holidays. not as bad as the amp people but still. not being able to go out with my friends as well as having 9 band pracs just this month. what to do?
i feel pathetic. oh not to mention i'm piled with homework. haha. i can't bear to go through the torture of auditions for syf.
i'm like having a throbbing headache as well.
just let me die.literally.
p.s.the china twinning programme girls came back today. hope your guys enjoyed yourselves!!!(:

(Ruby) ♥ 11/03/2008 10:19:00 PM